Audrey Hepburn and a Jalapeño Popper
Season 7, Episode 1
Total Episode Count: 133
Audrey Hepburn and a Jalapeño Popper
Air Date September 26, 2019
Produced by Chuck Lorre
Eddie Gorodetsky
Carol Anne Miller
Steven V. Silver
Joe Bella
Toti Levine
Written by Story by :
Gemma Baker
Britté Anchor
Robin Morrison

Teleplay by :
Warren Bell
Alissa Neubauer
Adam Chase

Directed by James Widdoes
Production Code T12.16401
Length 20 minutes
Episode Navigation
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"Crazy Hair and a Teeny Tiny Part of Canada
(Season 6)"
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"Pop Pop and a Puma"

Audrey Hepburn and a Jalapeño Popper is the first episode of Season 7 and the 133rd episode of Mom.


After being left to manage Adam's bar Christy attempts to implement changes. While he and Bonnie are away on their honeymoon, Bonnie goes to an A.A. meeting nearby and meets a woman in need.

Title Meaning

(Audrey Hepburn) Bonnie compares Adam to her while he's wearing sunglasses.

(a Jalapeño Popper) An appetizer Tammy serves at the bar.

Episode Description

Cast and Characters

Main Cast/Characters

(*Characters/cast members crossed out are absent*)
(*Kristen Johnston was promoted to Main Cast for Season 7*)

Recurring Cast/Characters

  • N/A

Guest Cast/Characters

  • Kate Micucci as Patty
  • Reginald VelJohnson as Jim
  • John Ratzenberger as Stan
  • Jim Turner as Rick
  • Daniel Nguyen as Marcus
  • Jeff Holman as Bob
  • Renee Percy as Shelby
  • Grace Rowe as Joan



Bonnie: (in her head) What is wrong with me? I'm in the perfect place with the perfect man, and all I can think about is, "How far do I have to swim out into that lake before I can't make it back?"

Tammy: I'm sorry, I do not understand your insane system.
Christy: There is nothing insane about clockwise. You start at the bar, then go one, two, three, four.
Tammy: Why do all your new rules involve counting?
Christy: Just go get those people their 'chos.
Tammy: Christy, saying "'chos" isn't any faster than saying "nachos".
Christy: It absolutely is.
Tammy: No, it's not.
Christy: I'll prove it to you. When I count to three–
Tammy: Oh, my God. More counting.
Christy: You say "nachos", I'll say "'chos". One, two, three
(simultaneously) Tammy: Nachos. Christy: 'Chos.
Both: See? I win!
Christy: No! I win because I'm in charge.
Tammy: Fine. All right. What about beef nachos? You want me to just say "beef 'chos"?
Christy: Those are obviously b-chos
Tammy: I think you're being kind of a b-Cho.

Marjorie (on the phone): Hello. How's the happy newlywed?
Bonnie: Everything is perfect and I'm completely miserable. And if I'm completely miserable on our honeymoon, what does that say about our marriage? Not gonna work, that's what it says!
Marjorie: I'm guessing you haven't been to a meeting.
Bonnie: I'm in the middle of nowhere. What am I supposed to do, find a raccoon with a whiskey problem?
Marjorie: Check online. There are alcoholics everywhere, even in the wilderness
Bonnie: After four years of sobriety, I'd like to think I could go a week without a meeting.
Marjorie: You know, Bonnie, when you packed your suitcase, you also packed yourself.
Bonnie: I also packed a phone charger. What's your point?
Marjorie: I'll say it so a child could understand. You have alcoholism here, you have alcoholism there, you have alcoholism everywhere.
Bonnie: I will punch you here, I will punch you there, I will punch you everywhere. I don't need a meeting!



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Audrey Hepburn and a Jalapeño PopperPop Pop and a PumaGoat Yogurt and Ample ParkingTwirly Flippy Men and a Dirty BirdFake Bacon and a Plan to Kill All of UsWile E. Coyote and a Possessed DollPork Butt and a Mall WalkerHot Butter and Toxic NarcissismTuna Florentine and a Clean HandoffHiggledy-Piggledy and a Cat ShowOne Tiny Incision and a Coffin DressSilly Frills and a Depressed Garden GnomeDammit Sandra and Viking AncestorsCheddar Cheese and a Squirrel CircusSomebody's Grandmother and the A-ListJudy Garland and a Sexy Troll DollBeef Baloney Dan and a Sarcastic NoA Judgy Face and Your Grandma's DrawersTexas Pete and a Parking Lot CarnivalBig Sad Eyes and an Antique Hot Dog
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